singaporeMy name is Dess and my husband is Shawn. I met him through a Facebook group last year. He was one of the newest admins then. He was 46 years old and I was 28. We started with good conversations through comment threads in any topic posted. It wasn’t love at first sight, it was more of being just friends. We became real good friends where we share to each other not just ideas and opinions, but hopes and dreams, wishes and disappointments, and past heartbreaks and life experiences. I value my privacy and I do not open up to anyone right away. But there was something in him that I felt so comfortable with, it was the feeling of knowing him since forever. Being good friends that turned out to be best buddies. We exchanged messages almost 24/7. It will only stop when either one of us was sleeping, we had a good communication from day 1 till now. Until one day when I got sick. It was the first time that I felt of missing him so much, the feeling of wanting him to be next to me that very moment. Wishing he was there taking care of me. That was when the realization came to my mind. I was falling for him. The friendship that we had from the beginning bloomed into something more special and deeper feelings. And it so happened that the feeling was mutual. But since we were giving more importance to our friendship, we discussed about it and decided to slow down. To think and analyze the situation and our feelings. Being both admins and seeing unsuccessful online relationships left and right, we were both scared to lose our friendship if things didn’t work out for us. So we gave it more time till the moment when we could not hold the feelings anymore and yes we moved to the next level of having online relationship with each other. After one month of our online relationship, he seriously proposed to me…ONLINE! With ring emoticons and stickers hahaha And I said yes. Well, he asked me to get my ring size but I told him I will only accept anything from him if he give it to me personally. Ok so I said yes, because I know what I want and I want him. I love him and I never doubt his intentions, never doubt him for one moment since day one; to begin with. I’ve been on the internet for more than a decade, been admin half of that period. Groups, public pages, online counselling, forums, chatrooms name it, I’ve done it. The first time that I talked to him I knew right then he wasn’t an experienced chatter. He doesn’t sugar coat but he will tell you what he really feels with all honesty. And that is what I want. I already heard every beautiful compliments and adjectives a man can give to a woman and I was getting tired and sick of all those shit. I demand honesty to the highest level. If you cannot afford to be honest with me then better not bother me at all. I can recognize a man’s game even before he plays it. And that is one thing he liked about me. Though I said yes I told him to wait till I go back to Philippines because I want to meet him there. I was working here in Singapore when we met till now. It will be 7 months of waiting and he agreed. I did a lot of mistakes in my life so did he. We understand that though we agreed to marry each other we still need time to prepare and wait patiently. No more rushing, just patiently waiting while loving each other more. Besides, I have a 5 years old kid that I am supporting alone, I was a single mom by choice. He perfectly understands my situation and accepted my son as his own. So after 8 months, all in all, we finally met in the Philippines. He traveled half of the world to meet me, my family and my son. He fulfilled his promise and married me. Our 8 months of online relationship wasn’t all about I love you and sweet nothings. Being both admins running several groups (dating, couples, all-women, all-men, visa, friendship, language). It wasn’t that easy. We were more exposed to different kinds of people who tried to break us apart. Sometimes helping and fixing other people’s problem affected our relationship too. We had lot of misunderstandings due to cultural and personal differences. There were issues and disagreements. There were fights that almost broke us apart. I really thank God we made it through, together. I am thankful and blessed for having him. He is more than I’ve ever asked for. Knowing how stubborn, out spoken and difficult I can be, he didn’t give up on me. There were times that I even pushed him to his limits and hurt him unintentionally. But he is still there loving and understanding me. He is very supportive and believes in me in everything I do and wanted to do, he motivates me and put me at the top of his priority. With him, I can be myself without the fear of being judged and misunderstood. We do fight, but at the end of the day we are back to being good friends, open up each other’s feelings and as always our friendship and love for each other prevails. I am so thankful that romance and friendship go hand in hand in our relationship. We are connected to each other that no one can ever understand. Long distance/ online relationship is not easy. It requires a lot of effort, patience, understanding, love, respect, trust and loyalty from both sides to make it work. Honest and open communication is a must. He is not perfect, neither do I. There is no perfect couple, no perfect relationship. But we do love each other with all our imperfections and flaws, strength and weaknesses. My marriage is not perfect, it is beautiful. Even more beautiful because I married my best friend. Love grows beyond boundaries. It knows no age, language, distance, culture,race and religion. When the friendship is real and the love is true, there are ACCEPTANCE and UNDERSTANDING for each other. I didn’t write this to brag, but to inspire others that real friendship and true love are possible despite the distance. Marriage is beautiful!

2 Comments

  1. Carol Turley

    Your story is so moving and true, and my relationship with my friend , lover and soon to be husband. Our relationship has started in March, 2014. On line dating. We were friends, at first. Talking about our lives etc. I was goinv threw a divorce from my husband of 44 yrs. He was there for me. He has been threw so much, and we both have thd same goals ,dreams , beliefs and values. We love each other so much. That on or about Sept. 15 we will be meeting in Person. He has asked me to marry him and I said yes.  Moving out of the state of Ohio and movinv south. Because nothing
    Left in this area. Moving closer to my kids and Grandkids. He has 3 kids ànd wanting to be their mom, as they lost their mom to cancer.  He is younger then me , but that does not matter. 

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